Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
