Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
