His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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