toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
