people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
