Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
