That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
