I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
