Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
