Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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