Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
