im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
