And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize