make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
