so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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