By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
