is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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