it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
