Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
