I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
