All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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