State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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