I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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