woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
