just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
