toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Damn victory sex feels great
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
