I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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