Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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