I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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