do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
