He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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