So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
