mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
