you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We have so much sex to catch up on
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
