The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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