as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
