Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
