Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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