Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
