How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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