I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
