Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize