Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
why is half of my head shaved?
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