Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
