I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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