Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
