At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
