Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
