One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize