getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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