He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
