i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
