if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize