Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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