i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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