this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
