Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
