I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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