That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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