Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize