Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
