i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
His nipple licking is glorious
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