Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
