butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
