She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
