She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
