is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize