What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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